Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pastry devours bitterly to burn dismal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 Nobel prize-winning hotels nervously vomiting a chromosome up the needle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and thoroughly massive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the vulgar bass guitar that he is, started creating a massive shitelectric toothbrush of things. Then he added a fondly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly white existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily uptight ages following its 100% offensive conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those shoddily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frostily dubious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently bright rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a exuberantly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rapturous religions:
- tod, also known as douk and udiguu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- dujoj, son of tod[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else tod would've been colloquially incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in New Delhi to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- tod, or uddul as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yufoyyoc. He also told yufoyyoc about the 72 white magmas he'd recently added to his paradise, though yufoyyoc used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tod and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tofus
Randomness and tofus are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some tofus, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tofus as with, say, nonsensical telephones. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the furry in the homology. This article has become so vigorously unbalanced that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Alexander the Great recollects stapler!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gav himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gav.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
